sarah friedlander

Imperfect perfectionist living life to its fullest.

  1. The Four Ages of Man / Los Hombres en Cuatro Tiempos

    In LAN’s August 2011 magazine “in” they focused on a number of articles about men. The article on page 68 and 70 by Walter Duer caught my eye and was too funny not to repost. I’ve typed it up in both Spanish and English.

    Our writer takes a critical look at the life cycle of his fellow males. Anything sound familiar?
    Una personal mirada de nuestro cronista sobre la vida de sus congéneres. ¿Algunas similitud?

    Childhood / Infancia

    During the the first months of life, being a man is as easy as it gets: to make our point, it’s enough to urinate in an arc during that small window of opportunity when our diaper is taken off. So that our fathers – who are also men – can relax, it is important that one of the first words out of our mouths be the name of our progenitor’s favorite soccer team. As time goes on, things get more complicated. For a period of time, which begins with the first days of school and the social life that implies, being grossed out by any physical contact with girls is de riguer, with the obvious exception of sticking gum in their hair (especially those with difficult curls). It’s also essential to collect soccer stickers, watch as much violent television as possible on kid’s channels and to stay far, far away from Barbies even if their two-story dream houses with Jacuzzis are incredibly tempting.

    Ser hombre en los primeros meses de la vida es de lo más sencillo: basta orinar de forma parabólica en el transcurso de tiempo mínimo entre que nos quitan un pañal y nos colocan el siguiente para dejar asentado nuestro punto. Para que los padres, hombres también ellos, se queden tranquilos, es importante que una de las primeras palabras que se mencionen sea el nombre del club de fútbol del cual el progenitor es hincha. Luego, conforme pasa el tiempo, la tarea se vuelve más compleja. Por lo pronto, a partir del momento en que comienza la escolaridad y la sociabilidad inherente, es menester sentir asco de cualquier contacto físico posible con las niñas, con excepción, claro, de la posibilidad de untarles el pelo con goma de mascar (en particular a las que tienen rulos difíciles). También es indispensable coleccionar cromos (láminas) de fútbol, consumir cualquier programa violento disponible en los canales de televisión infantiles y mantenerse todo lo ejes que sea posible de las Barbies, incluso cuando la casa de dos pisos con jacuzzi resulte de lo más tentadora.

    Adolescence / Adolescencia

    When our relationship with girls morphs from “disgust” to “interest,” it’s very important to spend 40 to 50 minutes in front of the mirror to craft a look that communicates that we’re not the least interested in how we look. Of course, once the girl we’re interested in decided to go out with us, we have to firmly deny to our peers any indication that we’re smitten, even when the girl is right there and this negative posture puts an end to the relationship. In terms of “customs,” we have to publicly listen to any music classified as “rebellious,” regardless of the fact that we enjoy Britney Spears and Ricardo Montaner in private. The new generations have an advantage: social networking provides a forum to put fronts ad nauseum, especially when it’s not considered necessary to establish any subsequent contact in real life.

    Cuando la relación con las niñas deja de ser de “asco” y se transforma en de “ganas”, es imprescindible pasar entre 40 y 50 horas frente al espejo para generar un look que de la pauta de que uno no está interesado en cómo se ve. Por supuesto, una vez que la chica a la que apuntamos decide salir con nosotros, debemos negar con firmeza ante nuestros pares cualquier insinuación de que uno está enamorado aun cuando la chica esté presente y esa negativa constituya el final de la relación. En cuanto a costumbres, escuchar en público cualquier manifestación musical que califique como “rebelde”, aunque en privado prevalezcan Britney Spears o Ricardo Montaner. Las nuevas generaciones tienen una ventaja: en las redes sociales pueden fingir hasta el hartazgo, en particular cuando no consideran necesario establecer algún contacto posterior en la vida real.

    Adulthood / Adultez

    There are two basic tracks at this stage: those who have significant other and those who don’t. The former get to hang out infrequently with their friends in the same situation, bragging about how they can do whatever they want, whenever they want, without permission from their better halves, which is almost always a lie. But it doesn’t matter, because everyone in the group is lying on the same wavelength, making it kind of a “white truth,” if such a thing exists. The latter group, as they approach 40 (or irrevocable baldness) assert their manliness by buying red convertibles, unbuttoning their first two buttons of their shirts and draping gold chains over their chests. Many people call this a “midlife crisis,” but life must go on. For both groups, it’s perfectly valid to talk about soccer for absolutely no reason at all. And take note: social networking doesn’t discriminate based on age, so keep putting on airs without shame!

    Aquí hay dos vertientes: la de los que tienen pareja y la de los que no. Los primeros, deberán salir infrecuentemente con sus amigos de la mismo condición y alardear de que pueden hacer lo que quieren y cuando quieren, sin necesidad de pedir permiso a sus mujeres, cosa que habitualmente es mentira. Pero no importa: todo el grupo estará mintiendo en la misma sintonía, por lo que se convertirá en una especie de verdad piadosa, si es que tal cosa existe. Los segundos, a medida que se acerquen a los 40 o a la calvicie absoluta) refuerzan el hecho de ser hombres comprando un auto rojo descapotable, desabrochándose los dos primeros botones de la camisa y rellenado el pecho con cadenitas de oro. Mucha gente llama esto “tener la crisis”, pero a seguir adelante. Para ambos grupos es válido hablar de fútbol sin que venga a cuerno de nada. Y atención: las redes sociales no discriminan por edad, así que… ¡a fingir sin vergüenzas!

    Old Age / Tercera Edad

    The world works as a kind of mathematical parabola, and being a man approaching the winter of his life is just as simple as the first few months were. To capture a woman’s attention all we have to say is “You’re right, dear,” before going on to do whatever we please. And it goes without saying, we continue talking about soccer until our very last day.

    El mundo funciona como una parábola de matemática y “ser hombre” en el agosto de la vida es tan sencillo como en los primeros meses. Para acaparar la atención de las mujeres en esta instancia, basta con decir “tienes razón, querida” y después hacer lo que a uno l e place. Eso sí,: se habla de fútbol hasta el ultimo día.

  2. What Could Have Been

    “There will always be a profound sense of loss for what could have been.”

    My mom is so incredibly wise. This statement can be applied to so many things. I think in life we are expected to not show emotions and to move on and forget. But sometimes part of the process is to mourn and to realize it is okay to be and to have emotions.

  3. My Life According to Carrie Bradshaw

    Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn’t fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come into your life and people go. But it’s comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you’re very lucky, a plane ride away. – Sex and the City

  4. International Women’s Day

    I came into work this morning to be greated by a ton of kisses congratulating me on International Women’s Day (along with the rest of the women in my office).

    Day of Women?  Okay I’ll take the extra attention, but I still feel slightly confused as I don’t ever believe this was celebrated in the United States.  At some point someone might have muttered something, but already I’ve seen quite a fuss made about this holiday including a fancy logo from Google.

    Digging deeper into this holiday I found out there is a pretty extensive website listing a lot about it (internationalwomensday.com).  And so I would like to ask my readers both in the United States and abroad.  Have you heard of this holiday and do you celebrate it?  Do you think its worthwhile or just another “silly” holiday?

     

  5. Vanilla Sky

    Vanilla Sky is without a doubt one of my favorite movies. I’ve read lots of reviews and talked people that either love or hate it. I remember the first time I saw Vanilla Sky – I was in high school, 11th grade (2001) and dating Ted. Ted lived in Connecticut and every month or so I would take the train from Long Island to see him and stay the weekend. We went out for sushi and then to the movie and I remember coming back to his house and his mom asking us what we thought about it. Neither of us could really put together a concise thought – we both just left confused.

    The inability to not understand the movie started to bother me over the passing weeks and I remember spending a lot of time researching the hidden themes and meanings. I became obsessed and also fell in love with the soundtrack and made it my job to find every song played in the movie, including the near to impossible to find score.

    Since those days in high school I’ve watched Vanilla Sky more times than I can remember, and have even seen Abre Los Ojos (which I don’t really care for). For the last year or two there have been a few quotes that have held a special meaning which I saved on my computer. I figured instead of keeping a text file the best thing would be to publish them here:

    My dreams are a cruel joke.
    They taunt me.
    Even in my dreams, I’m an idiot who knows he’s about to wakeup to reality.
    If only I could avoid sleep, but I can’t.

    I try to tell myself what to dream.
    I try to dream that I’m flying.
    Flying free.

    ~

    David: Look at us. I’m frozen and you’re dead, and I love you.
    Sofía: It’s a problem.
    David: I lost you when I got in that car. I’m sorry.

    ~

    David: Do you remember what you told me once? That every passing minute is a another chance to turn it all around.
    Sofía: I’ll find you again.
    David: I’ll see you in another life… when we are both cats.

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